Will there really be a day when he is a sulking teenager? A young man leaving for a college? A daddy?
Today it hit me like a ton of bricks. It literally almost knocked me over. I was kneading bread in the kitchen (more on that later) and William was playing in his bumbo at my feet. I left the kitchen for a second to grab something, and when I walked back in, he just looked so small. Such a tiny little boy playing on the floor in the kitchen.
Some day I will not be able to kiss that baby face. Maybe I'm just crazy to think of something like that. He will be my big boy, our son. I wonder if mothers keep an image of their children as babies, printed in their hearts? You know, just for quick reference. I wonder if they can recall with accuracy the details of the smiles and the curls and toothless grins from the first six months.
So, anyway, I made bread and then I left my kitchen like this. And I played with William and held him as much as he would let me, which wasn't much.
Our life isn't perfect. It's so very far from perfect, but I am so grateful to have this time with my child.